Have you ever been so close to another person, you could finish their sentences? You knew more about them than they knew about themselves? You could see their flaws and their good qualities and you loved them both? And then, that person that you’d told you loved as is, decided they must change? The changes weren’t for you, but they claimed your love helped them make those changes and then they grew away from you?
I’m happy for them, but, it seems to me, the love I had was not returned. It was used and twisted into what they needed it to be. How much easier would my life be if I could use other people’s’ love to make myself strong enough to leave everyone behind?
I’ve spent my entire life being “the strong one” for people that didn’t have a tenth of my strength, but I can’t be strong for myself.
I mean, I’m trying, but I also think I deserve someone to love me out of the darkness, but I will stay for them and love them back. I won’t use them and leave them behind. That’s a shitty person.
Yet, I understand that strength means doing those things I’ve done to help others, for myself. If only I could think as much of my power as they were able to see. I’m happy I helped you.
I think you should help me do what I did for you, for myself.
Where are you?