Auto Pilot

There’s a thing I call being on auto pilot. It’s when you go through the motions of your life and it looks wonderful and amazing to bystanders. It’s when you get up, shower, get dressed, and go to work in the morning and spend your day without really living it. You spend your day doing what you’re supposed to do, living like you’re supposed to live, loving who you’re supposed to love, all the while looking like and thinking you’re happy. This is good. This is right.  
But, you don’t really feel any of it. You’re on auto pilot. You flipped the switch and you turned all your feelings off. 
I did it for many years. Some days I still have to fight going back on auto pilot. Living, breathing, loving even when it hurts; and experiencing life–really experiencing it and loving it? 
That does not compare to living on auto pilot. It’s just a little harder–but only if you feel it. And if you don’t feel it? You’re not really living.

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