“What Are You Looking For?”

Trying to date at my age, knowing what I know and being where I’ve been, I get asked this question frequently.  So much so, that I’ve had to give it great thought.  What am I looking for? 

I do know, but I don’t believe it exists. Every once in a blue moon, I get fooled that maybe it does. That’s because I am honest, authentic, what I write and who I am are the same.  I want someone like that. 

I want someone who recognizes their flaws and doesn’t run from them. I want someone that is the same, flawed, beautiful person when they’re doing beautifully and when they’re scared to death. 

I want communication. I want someone that can talk about our troubles rather than try to ignore, polish and hide them as if everything is ok. 

I want someone that can laugh and cry within the same day and not feel guilty or ashamed of having pure emotions. 

I want someone that understands me more the more I share with them instead of running away. I’ve done that for everyone that gets close enough to me to share anything with me.  

I want someone who’s just uncomfortable enough to feel comfortable being uncomfortable with me….and eventually, being comfortable. 

Everyone makes mistakes. We all have a past. We all have flaws and demons we battle daily. I want someone that isn’t afraid to show me ugly because they know I’ll still be there when they’re feeling bad. 

I’ll support and encourage anyone that allows me to. I want someone to do the same for me. There is no competition. There is no game. 

I want a human that sees me as human.  Im attracted to that. But, I don’t understand dishonesty–with others or yourself. I can point it out and still love you.  Your reaction is what will tell me who you are.  

Nobody is perfect and I’m not looking for perfect. I’m looking for someone that is real.  That’s really all I’m looking for. 

Now, for the realist in me: 

1. You must be tolerant. 

2. You must care about yourself, your health, and others 

3. You must realize the way the world works. It’s hard, but you can’t spend life being an idealist. Nothing will ever be perfect. Nothing. Be happy with better. 

4. You must be able to take care of yourself. I’m not your mother. I can care and worry, but there’s a point where I can’t help. Help yourself. 

5. Put happiness first. We won’t be here forever. If happiness lasts 3 months, 10 years, or forever….be willing to take it. 

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