Up today in “stuff nobody says”, my son moved out yesterday to go live with his dad. Some people seem to be concerned with this. I didn’t do it for me. I didn’t do it for my ex-husband. I did it for my son.
He’d wanted to move to his dad’s. He broke down in tears about a year and a half ago and asked me if he could go. He told me how dad could fix things, build things, and how he wanted to learn from his dad.
It was a gut-punch. For 15 years, I’d been the one taking care of him; I’d been the one dealing with teachers, IEP’s, doctors, diagnoses. I was the one to push him toward music; toward cars, toward his core interests.
His dad got the benefit of seeing all of that. We’ve always made sure to put our child first. Just because he wasn’t a good husband for me does not mean he can’t be a good father to our son.
My son was right. There were things he could learn from his dad that he can’t learn from me. I hope he keeps his music, his incredibly pure heart, and his respect for humanity.
I also hope he learns to fix things, to build things, and to have as close of a relationship with his dad as he has with me.
He starts school tomorrow somewhere brand new. Of course, I’m worried. That’s my job as his mom. But, I also know he needs his dad. I gave up my most amazing, loving, wonderful child to enrich his life and his experience.
It has been a very difficult few years knowing this day would eventually come. The door is always open for him to return.
It was time for my son to be with his dad. It was time for my son to experience things I couldn’t show him. He has two families that love him dearly. It would be selfish to keep him with me knowing that the only reason I’d keep him from his dad would be because he holds my heart.
I’ll be ok. I did what I did so my son would be ok. Yes, it’s difficult. Yes, I’m a bit sad and I already miss him, but I do what I believe is best for my child. I think every parent should.