Yes. I am a custodial parent that turned over custody to my child’s father. 

Up today in “stuff nobody says”, my son moved out yesterday to go live with his dad.  Some people seem to be concerned with this.  I didn’t do it for me. I didn’t do it for my ex-husband. I did it for my son. 

He’d wanted to move to his dad’s. He broke down in tears about a year and a half ago and asked me if he could go. He told me how dad could fix things, build things, and how he wanted to learn from his dad. 

It was a gut-punch. For 15 years, I’d been the one taking care of him; I’d been the one dealing with teachers, IEP’s, doctors, diagnoses. I was the one to push him toward music; toward cars, toward his core interests. 

His dad got the benefit of seeing all of that. We’ve always made sure to put our child first. Just because he wasn’t a good husband for me does not mean he can’t be a good father to our son. 

My son was right. There were things he could learn from his dad that he can’t learn from me. I hope he keeps his music, his incredibly pure heart,  and his respect for humanity. 

I also hope he learns to fix things, to build things, and to have as close of a relationship with his dad as he has with me. 

He starts school tomorrow somewhere brand new. Of course, I’m worried. That’s my job as his mom. But, I also know he needs his dad.  I gave up my most amazing, loving, wonderful child to enrich his life and his experience. 

It has been a very difficult few years knowing this day would eventually come. The door is always open for him to return. 

It was time for my son to be with his dad. It was time for my son to experience things I couldn’t show him. He has two families that love him dearly.  It would be selfish to keep him with me knowing that the only reason I’d keep him from his dad would be because he holds my heart. 

I’ll be ok. I did what I did so my son would be ok. Yes, it’s difficult. Yes, I’m a bit sad and I already miss him, but I do what I believe is best for my child.  I think every parent should. 

3 thoughts on “Yes. I am a custodial parent that turned over custody to my child’s father. 

  1. You are truly an amazing Parent for doing what you did Julie. Not all mothers could do that. Even if it’s what the child wanted. You have such a warm and caring heart and I’m sure you passed that amazing quality on to your son. I’m sure he loves you even more now than if you would have gone against his wishes. My son was with me pretty much every weekend and moved in with me right after he graduated high school. Keep doing what you are doing Julie. He’ll come back on his own, it’s only a matter of time. ⚘

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  2. Awesome parenting. I remember when this happened and I also remember wondering why. But I’d also grown to know you well enough to know it must have been for the best. I must have missed this blog entirely. Anyway.. I commend you for doing this because I bet it hurt like hell. You are awesome.

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