Being an outspoken female such as myself, you can imagine I’m often called a man-hater, a lesbian (as if that’s a bad thing), and crazy. Being called crazy seems to be par for the course when a chick speaks up about anything, but that’s called gaslighting. I know that now. And, of course, after visiting a multitude of psychological professionals (because I was told I needed them by certain people), that told me I’m the most sane, well-adjusted person they’d ever met, I’m starting to believe them.
I generally told them, “I’m paying you. Of course you’ll say that!” But I just kept going back for the one that told me I was crazy. That never happened. As I write this, I feel sad that I must tell you that no, I’m not crazy. I’ve been checked out because I was told I needed therapy. That’s not the point. That’s all in the past now.
I just wanted to address it. I love men. I love men so much that I’ve gotten myself into relationship after relationship with men I fell in love with that needed some assistance with being loved and returning it. Yes. I am a feminist, which, by definition, is someone that yearns for gender equality.
Over these years, I’ve fallen in love a few times–with men. I fall in love with men that don’t seem to understand how great they are–mostly because they’ve not bought into the social pressure they’ve been subjected to. I fall in love with men that are creative, sensitive, incredible, but live in a world that dismisses them for the same qualities I love them for.
I love them. I build them up. I do my best to make them understand how amazing they are for rejecting status quo and just being themselves. When they say something I know is what they think they should say (as a man), I tell them. When they misunderstand women, I tell them how we feel. When they tell me they love me, I let them go.
All in all, I’d say it’s a service not only for those wonderful men I fell in love with, but also for the strong women they eventually married. I’m always hearing about an ex with a new wife or girlfriend. Yes, it stings. But when you truly love someone, you let them go. You encourage them to go out on their own and be who they are.
Does it hurt me? A little, but I consider every man my friend and always appreciate them listening to me and making changes. I seriously wish men would do the same for the many women trapped in socially-imposed gender roles.