Well, shit. Here’s a synopsis of my stupidity. I’m not sharing for anyone to judge me. I’m sharing because this is the real world, kittens.
This little girl grew up thinking she could do anything….until about age 12. Then, this little girl was taught to be a model, an actress, or marry a rich man. This little girl ended up fairly cute and tall. Whatever. This little girl was smart. This little girl was curious. This little girl loved to read and write. But, you see, this girl learned early on what she was good for by the standards already in place. This girl lived by those standards for just as long as she could stand it.
I went to school when I could afford to –damn the loss of the “rich husband/modeling career”. I majored first in theater and then in communications but I minored in Women’s Studies. And oh my God! You would not believe all the phenomenal things women without rich husbands who aren’t models have done in this world! I mean, holy crap! Lots of them should have been leaders. But I digress….
I decided quite a while ago not to judge any damn thing by its cover, because I was for too long.
I was going to show the world I was smart and fierce and amazing! And then I started working in the real world. Never mind my 4.0’s were dismissed by classmates as my “sleeping with the prof” Never mind all the jobs if previously been offered because of reasons other than my brain. Fuck that!
My friends and family will say I must learn everything the hard way. I guess maybe earning everything is the hard way?
I went to work. I worked hard. I worked alongside many and earned respect. I did everything I possibly could for my employer, but at the end of the day, some still believed I must be “sleeping with the orof.”
I tried like hell to fix and change it. But there came a time when what I was trying to do for everyone else was killing me. And so, I gave up. But I will not shut up. I’m tired of keeping my mouth closed to help people maintain their happy, little oblivion.