On being a mom

My last boyfriend before I got married–who was the person I should have probably married, but as luck would have it, I just got him prepared for his beautiful wife. The reason we broke up was, I wanted to get married and have a baby.  He didn’t know if he could ever be a dad.  So, I broke up with him and ended up engaged to another guy in just a few months.  I was 28.  I couldn’t walk by a woman with a baby without crying.  I couldn’t hold the babies that came to the office because I’d cry.  So, I got married to the wrong person to have a baby.

But the baby wasn’t easy!  We had to plan it.  I wasn’t getting pregnant  just through, you know, normal means, so I had to look it up online.  I made my husband take a bath (as my research said), I got on top after (as the Internet said to do to have a baby girl), and we conceived.  

At 20 weeks, we had our ultrasound and learned we were having a boy.  So, my little girl, best friend dreams were crushed, but I had plenty of time to get used to the idea of a boy.  By the time by due date arrived (June 13, 2001), I was ready to meet my boy.  

But my boy didn’t come.  I watched TLC’s A Baby Story and cried waiting to meet my boy.  My doctor who had gone on vacation over my due date but referred me to another OBGYN had thanked me for waiting for her to take vacation.  They put me in the hospital, hooked me up to a machine, ultra sounded every day to make sure my very ripe baby by this time was still ok.  Finally, they said they’d do a C-section if I were ready.  I was ready.  So they scheduled my c-section for June 29th at 8:00 am.  My son was born at 8:19 am.  We joke with him about screaming “hell no, I won’t go!” While he was holding onto my rib as they cut me and pulled him out.  He had a mini fridge full of beer in there and posters on the wall and had made himself far too comfortable to leave.  

Once he was born, they placed him on my shoulder and he gave me the one raised eyebrow look that said, “and so it’s you, huh?”  

And he was everything to me and he still is.  13 years of heartache, trouble, unconditional love and support later, I couldn’t be prouder of being Hunter’s mom.  

After I found out a year and a half later that I could never have any more children, I came to realize that this amazing, special, wonderful child I had would need all I had to give him.  There just wasn’t room for another and divine intervention stepped in to make sure I could give him whatever he needed.  

Happy Mother’s Day to me.  And to all of you that have special children that need 100% of you.  

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