Men and women. Girls and boys. People are all just human. Some of the worst hurts come from members of the opposite sex; not because of typical, socially induced expectations, but because we think and say “we’re in the friend zone.”
I’ve had many male friends. Some were true friends. Others were friends because they were being “a friend” in hopes of more. I’m a great friend. It hurts to lose a friend be cause he happens to be male and happens to have thought being a decent human being to me meant we might date, were dating, could be a couple. A friendship is not a consolation prize that you should reject because you wanted more. A friendship will outlast any marriage. Friends are always there for each other. If your friend happens to be of the opposite sex, would you rather have a friend? Or would you rather be alone? No relationship that brings you joy is a “waste of time.”
My son is in love with a girl. She sees him as a friend. She’s had three boyfriends that he tells me about and it breaks his heart but he still loves her.
I ask him if he’d rather be a boyfriend or her friend at the end. He says “friend at the end.” That’s love. Not expectations or what you’ve been taught to think. At the end, family and friends are all you’ve got. And honestly, if you can’t see being her friend, how can you possibly see marrying her?
At the end, you’ll be friends anyway. So, just stop thinking friendship from a member of the opposite sex is bad. Be a friend. Not many are.